This evening I saw an amazing performance of Pilobolus--a modern dance troupe whose bodies do things that mine now can only dream of. I see them perform every July/Aug at the Joyce Theater in NYC. It is something I look forward to doing every summer. Not only do I watch them for the sheer awe of their dancing, but having danced from childhood through college, I watch them and nostalgically remember the feeling of being a dancer myself.Watching them tonight I especially took notice of their bodies and the muscle definition that resembles Greek gods/goddesses. I recalled how dancing was indeed a great form of exercise and how many dancers I knew did nothing else to build muscle--only dance. During that time in my life, I never worried about my body. I never danced to stay fit. I never danced for a good workout. I only danced because I loved it. Having a great body was just a by-product of a great love.
So it is with abundance I realized. Many of us, including myself, work to pay the bills. I have spent the last 15 years in the fashion industry, progressively getting more and more frustrated. I got to the point where I was working in fashion primarily because it was what I had my degree in, it was what I was trained to do, and it was the job that I could make the best salary at. Now I am at a point where I want to spend more and more time in JOY. For me, that means allowing myself creative outlets and taking a step toward being a full-time healer & teacher. If for work, we do something we really love, then it is not really work for us. Therefore, we put in the extra effort it takes. We become naturally successful at what we enjoy doing. We excel at what we love. And when we excel, people take notice. How can we expect to do well at something we dislike doing? How long can YOU fake it for?
I understand FULLY what it means to have to provide financially for yourself without any real form of a safety net. I know what it means to be responsible and that my thoughts may come across as idealistic and not very realistic. And I do realize that I may still need to take another job in fashion before I can fully support myself doing something else. I just want to get to the point where I am doing something because I love to do it. I refuse to waste my life being unhappy or settling because I thought I couldn't do any better.
My new motto:
1. Focus on what you love
2. Do the best you can
3. Let go of the outcome
And because I can't end this posting without cracking a joke...
4. Don't try to imitate that college dance performance video you showed to Mike. Like when he said, "Can you still do that?" And I said, "Sure..." and gave myself a charley horse.
